Sunday, May 1, 2011

Killer Grammar

Riding my bike home from the local bagelry I passed an antiques store.  Out front this store had a sandwich board sign.  Writ upon the sign is the following advertisement:

Antique's,
Unique's,
And More...

Reading this sign nearly made me swerve into traffic to save me the agony of knowing such a horrible abuse of the English language could be displayed proudly; flaunted in the sunlight of a beautiful day, rather than hidden away beneath a rock or at the bottom of a well.

There is so much wrong with this.  Those commas just hanging off in space, the improper ellipses, pluralizing an adjective, and those god damn apostrophes!  Just...fffffffffffffffffffff!

On a side note, I am well aware that I bastardize the English language for comic effect.  However, my distortions are based firmly in a strong understanding of how English works.  They make sense in a way.  They're understandable.  And, damn it, they're funny.

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